~ The Power of Choice ~

Jairden had to go to the clinic today to check his blood counts. He did not want to go. The first part of the car ride was not fun. He soon settled down and the rest of our trip was okay.

We made our way into the clinic, Thomas the Train engine in tow, thank goodness for Thomas and choice number one. I asked him if he would like to bring Thomas or his tractor with him, he chose Thomas.

Thomas kept us occupied while we waited our turn. Once his name was called it got dicey. This is the point were he started chanting "No cream on my button (EMLA cream on his power port)". Once I assured him that the cream was at home he calmed down a bit.

We sat in the chair and he started to panic a bit again. "NO poke, NO poke". I calmly and gently asked him to listen to me. He put his cheek against mine and was quiet. I gently told in that we needed to do a small poke, would he like to poke his finger or his toe. He chose his toe. One small whimper with the initial poke but that was all.

Last time it was an all out screaming and crying mess. Last time I never took the time to ask him which he would prefer, his finger or his toe. I chose his toe because I knew from past experience that his toe would work better but I still should have given him the choice. It is his body. He may not be able to past on the test but giving him a choice about what to poke allows him to have a say and lets him know that his feelings are being considered.

Throughout this journey we have had to make a conscience effort to allow Jairden to have as many choices as we can to keep a healthy emotional balance, because there are lots of things that he doesn't have a say over. Most of the clinic and hospital staff are very good but we have run into a few old school nurses that have tried to bully him into doing things 'right this minute, their way' when there is no need for such force. It automatically creates resistance and we kindly ask them to leave.

There have been a few times that we have had to hold him tight and just get it over with, like accessing/deaccessing his port. He hates having tape put on and taken off, there is only one way to put tape on and one way to take it off. I feel awful having to do this. We nurse and snuggle right after we are done, so he knows that he is loved. We talk about it as much as possible, making sure to recognize his feelings and apologizing to him when he feels he has been wronged.

We had good and bad news with his labs. His hemoglobin and platelets are up but his ANC is at .111. It needs to be at .750 so his chemo for next week has been pushed back a week. The good news is we get a break next week. No 8 hours in the car, no pokes or temp/blood pressure checks. Just a week to get to be 'normal' again.

South Dakota Sept. 2010